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How to stay safe with BDSM

Updated: May 8

BDSM can be a fulfilling and exciting aspect of a person's sexual and emotional life, but it's important to prioritise safety and consent in all BDSM activities. Here are some steps to help stay safe while engaging in BDSM:

1. Good Communication

Before engaging in any BDSM activities, it's important to have open and honest communication with your partner(s) about everyones desires, boundaries, and safety concerns. Negotiating and setting clear guidelines for BDSM play can help ensure that everyone involved is comfortable and has a positive experience.


2. Start Slow

Don't be in a rush and enjoy the journey. Take your time to find out what your and your partners enjoy.


3. Use A safe word

A safe word is a word or phrase that is agreed upon by all parties involved to indicate that the BDSM activity should stop immediately. Using a safe word allows individuals to feel comfortable exploring their boundaries and to stop the activity if it becomes uncomfortable or unsafe. Do make this easy to remember so there is no confusion in the heat of the moment.


My own preference is traffic light colours, as well as a work for stop, I can also check in periodically to confirm it's okay to keep going:

  • RED - Stop everything immediately.

  • AMBER - I'm okay to continue but don't take it any further.

  • GREEN - Good to go and you can step it up a little.

In the case of RED, you may want resume again after a discussion and potentially setting new parameters.


4. Practice informed consent

Informed consent means that all parties involved are fully aware of and agree to the BDSM activities taking place. This includes discussing and respecting any limits or boundaries, and ensuring that everyone is aware of the potential risks and how to mitigate them.


5. Be aware of physical risks

BDSM activities can involve the use of physical sensations, such as pain or restraints, which can pose a risk to a person's physical health. It's important to be aware of the potential risks and to take steps to minimise them, such as having a first aid kit on hand, knowing how to safely use restraints, having safety equipment such as shears for rope play.


6. Prioritise aftercare

Aftercare refers to the physical and emotional care taken after a BDSM session. This can include activities such as cuddling, hydration, and processing emotions with a partner or therapist. Aftercare can help individuals process the experience and feel grounded after a BDSM session.


7. Educate yourself

There are many resources available for individuals looking to learn more about BDSM, including books, workshops, and online communities. Educating oneself on BDSM practices and safety can help individuals have a positive and fulfilling BDSM experience.

Remember, BDSM is about consent and communication, and it's important to prioritize these values in all BDSM activities to ensure a safe and enjoyable experience.


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